Weight Watchers

Well, I decided it was time to tackle this extra weight I am carrying around.  I do want to live longer and see my children grow up.  After Doug and I got married we started fertility treatments.  I guess I started eating for 2 at that point.  Blamed it on the hormones and reached my highest weight ever in the year it took us to conceive Elijah.  Every month there was a negative on the old pregnancy test I would resort to a two week binge of chocolate.  Needless to say I gained and gained.  Now pregnant, I lost 10 pounds the first 6 months.  Best diet I had ever been on.  I only gained 11 pounds, so technically I had a 1 pound pregnancy weight gain.  Not bad in my opinion.  Well, I nursed Elijah, so I had to have extra calories to support him and me, and he really loved the sweets.  So by the time I stopped nursing I was back up to pregnancy weight.  About that time we decided to start trying for another baby since it took us a year the last time, so back to eating for two again.  The doctor said I had to lose weight for the fertility treatments to work so I lost about 20 pounds.  We soon realized that I was not getting pregnant, most months I was not even ovulating.  We decided to look into adoption.  Now for those of you who have never been though an adoption let me share a few things with you.  You have to lay out your entire life to complete strangers and they question you on your life before getting approved.  They look at your finances, you have to have references, work references, fingerprints, criminal records, counseling on fertility, answer a 12 page questionnaire on why you would be good parents, and all kind of questions that I am not sure how it relates to adopting, but anyway that is another story.  It is stressful.  I handle stress with chocolate.  So back up the weight went.  During all of this my biological father had a stroke and I was trying to take care of him.  STRESS, STRESS, and more STRESS.  Back up to pregnancy weight, my highest ever.  After my father died I went and got diet pills, lost 25 pounds, and then we brought Sarah home.  Yoohoo, back to the chocolate.  Have you ever had to work with a case manager and convince them your child need therapies?  STRESS.  I fought and fought and ate chocolate. So now our lives seem to be calmer.  We have a routine.  Everyone seems to be adjusted, so I went to weight watchers.  Get there and they tell you about the programs, yes two.  You have to choose which one to do.  Man, I hate to decide, what if I decide wrong?  Ok, they did say if you did not like what you decide you can change, but I still think I might need chocolate to decide.  Then today I have to figure out how to count stuff, chocolate where are you?  Why did I eat all of the M&M's on Sunday prior to going to weight watchers?  Ok, I think I have decided on the point program they have, I think I have my points calculated right, and I think I have enough points to eat CHOCOLATE tonight!!  Weight watchers chocolate dessert, but CHOCOLATE!!!  Did I tell you that Sarah is have T&A and tube placement next week?  Did I tell you we are thinking of adopting again?  Did I tell you that Elijah is about to finish Mother's Day Out for the summer and I will now have to find childcare for him or lug him to Sarah's therapies?  Oh no, what have I done.  I knew weight loss meant stress gain.  GIVE ME CHOCOLATE!!!!